"I am just going to assume you aren't talking about me", I respond.
"Oh, no sorry. This girl, she... she... pushed me!"
"That sucks. When did this happen?"
She points a wobbly finger at the screen up on a nearby wall, where the stage and dancefloor are being projected. "Right there!"
The poor girl has had a rough night. Her ex-boyfriend is there which has got her feeling unwanted and unattractive and all the other things that running into exes tends to do. Then some chick on the dancefloor pushes her for no apparent reason.
"You know, the worst part is," the other girl chimes in, "this is the sweetest girl in the world. You know, if I'd gotten pushed, sure I would have been pissed for a second. But I figure, I'm pretty bitchy - I probably had it coming. But her? She's the sweetest girl I've ever met. She totally didn't deserve this."
I look over to see the girl trying desperately to keep the tears that have welled up in her eyes from spilling down her face.
"Ok, I'll tell you what," I say. "Why don't you push me? It'll make you feel better. No, no, it's okay. I'm pretty bitchy - I've definitely got it coming. Here," I take her drink and set it on the bar, "Now, close your eyes, and pretend that I'm the girl who pushed you."
I brace myself for a light shove, then figure we'll all have a laugh about it.
She closes her eyes. Her lower lip trembles, and suddenly she throws her arms around me. "I'm so sorry I called you a bitch!"
Stunned, I stand there gaping for a minute. By the time I recovered, my drink had arrived. Before I make my departure, I kiss her on the cheek and whisper in her ear, telling her that she is beautiful.
I hope she believed me, that it made her feel better. She really was the sweetest girl in the world.